On Trusting Another: How to Find Someone to Trust

by Veronica Lam

We live in a world where people are so confused about who to trust and how to trust that we result to two extremes: we either “trust” everyone or we trust no one.

We desire so badly for the freedom of being able to truly know someone and allow them to know us. We desire intimacy with another. However, with our society so polluted by false images of love, our minds are fogged with a blur of what love is. Because of this, we fail to know what it means to trust or be trusted.

Only a person who loves you is to be trusted, so how are we to trust someone if we cannot be sure of their true self-sacrificing love for us?

Trust in a Nutshell

Trust is a word that is used quite often for the consolation of many hearts. We use this word to suspend our lives to that of another – to the strength, veracity and integrity of another. This is a rather optimistic fancy because for a brief moment with those three little words of consent, you are expressing that this person that stands before you is capable of sprouting food from his hands, of swimming across the entire sea in solitude, of healing himself of fatal illnesses – of achieving the impossible.

Although such a simple trust may not seem to entail as much as what I have just said, it is true that there is an abundance of confidence in him. So much so that you are willing to release your own personal will in order to be cradled in his virtues that you believe to be steadfast.

Why We Over-Use the Word “Trust”

The question, then, to be asked is this: why do we, as humans, overuse this precious word, “trust (dare I say it),” when it is so valuable in meaning, spitting it out here and there as if it is abundantly rare to find someone who cannot be trusted? Indeed, the goal is to find people to trust. However, if everyone exhibits that strength, veracity, and integrity (which we know is quite impossible in this lovely world of ours), then there would be no need to trust.

This is a bold claim, I have gathered, but if everyone were trustworthy, then there would be no need for the making of the word, “trust,” for we would not even know the counterparts: betrayal, disloyalty, and falsity. We clearly have defined this priceless word, therefore, there must exist such calamities.

So as I asked before, why do we over-utilize such a profitable word so casually knowing that not everyone is to be trusted?

Where the Answer Lies

The answer lies in our desire: our desire to be cared for, wanted and loved. We desire, to a mass extent, the assurance that we will be put above the desires of someone else; that we can entrust the deepest parts of ourselves to another and know that they will stand by our lowly side.

We desire to have a best friend; one that we know will take the bullet for us when we are at death’s edge. What a simple thing to describe, yet a complex one to find because finding someone you can trust is the equivalent of what people call the dreaded task of finding true love.

The Most Convenient Person to Trust is Easy to Find

Although this task seems rather difficult, it is simpler than we have imagined, not because making and holding the connection with this Person is easy, but because this Person is already by our side wherever we wander. He is there to listen to all of our secrets and fancies, our cries and grievances, and our joys and sufferings. He is there to listen to all of our prayers.

It is an insane thought to think that a person could care for us so profoundly without any selfish regard. But this perfect impossibility is made true through Our Lord, Jesus, in His promise to love us, guide us, and keep us safe. And, truly, the most thrilling part is that He will never leave us, nor betray us, for He has multiplied a few loaves of bread to feed thousands, He has walked on the waters of the ocean itself, and He has risen the dead with just a single word. He has done this all for us, and if we put our trust in Him, He will do it again.

If we do this, we will not merely be consenting our wills to Him for a brief moment but for a whole lifetime, because He is Strength, He is Veracity, and He is Integrity themselves, and to trust someone so whole-heartedly is more than just a dreaded task – it is the greatest adventure of all time.

Looking Up Before Looking Out

We must trust in the Father’s love for us. This is not to say that we should not trust in anyone except God because there are so many beautiful people who we can entrust the world with – people who pick us up, hold us and carry us forward. However, many people find themselves alone because they lack that human bond, but when we are in this state, we must not fear. Our God is by our side each moment of the day.

He is there with us when we brush our teeth, smiling as he splashes us with water from his sink; He is there with us when we study, sitting across from us and peaking his eyes above his book; He is there with us when we are tempted by sin, laughing at Satan in his attempt to break a daughter or son that has already been given to God. He is there for us every place we go as a Father, a Brother, a Best Friend, a Caregiver, a Motivator, a Savior, and a Redeemer.

Trust in God and he will bring those who will not only trust in you but who will give you a reason to trust in them.

Comment 1

  1. Loree Lam October 2, 2017

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